Hoover Building

This post will be a directory of all my fanfic. They will be listed by fandom, then by alphabetical order. Series in each fandom will be grouped together sequentially, and crossovers listed in each fandom they cross with.

( Numerical Fandoms )
( A Fandoms )
( B Fandoms )
( C Fandoms )
( D Fandoms )
( E Fandoms )
( F Fandoms )
( G Fandoms )
( H Fandoms )
( I Fandoms )
( J Fandoms )
( K Fandoms )
( L Fandoms )
( M Fandoms )
( N Fandoms )
( O Fandoms )
( P Fandoms )
( Q Fandoms )
( R Fandoms )
( S Fandoms )
( T Fandoms )
( U Fandoms )
( V Fandoms )
( W Fandoms )
( X Fandoms )
( Y Fandoms )
( Z Fandoms )
** indicates story is part of above listed series.

For future updates, follow my fic update twitter: Lopaka Tanu

Jesus Christ! I swear, if I were to meet Jon Stewart today, I would bop him one. He's not the only one, either.

What the hell about their ego makes these TV personalities makes them think we'd give a flying fuck about their opinion during an interview? They have these people on their shows to let them explain a topic or point. Then they can't stop interrupting or talking long enough to let that person get to the friggen point!

My example is Jon and Elizabeth Warren the other night. I wanted to hear what she had to say. She's a brilliant and insightful person. She was trying time and time again to explain what was going on and he kept fucking cutting in with some bullshit statement or tittering response. I could understand if she was full of shit and it was an interview to make fun of the guest like he usually has one of his 'correspondents' do. But this wasn't the case at all. It's like he can't let a single intelligent thought be fully expressed on the show. This is why I prefer Colbert.

It's not just him, though. Keith Olbermann does it from time to time too. And the less said about Cenk of The Young Turks, the better. I have no idea about other interviews on shows, since I fast forward through them out of boredom. Rachel Maddow, queen of the squeeing giggle ruined that for me.

I've seen Jon let men talk until they were blue in the face, so maybe that's why he wouldn't stop for her. After all, he wasn't fucking funny once until the end, the online finish, not the broadcast end.

Maybe I'm just overly sensitive because I wanted to hear her speak because she's one of a very few who's not bent over for the lobbyists in the whole damned thing.

How goes it there, my dears? Ya'll still kickin about?

So far, I'm still alive myself. Not much to report. I think I might be over my 12th cold since July, and the rash is almost gone. Good news, so are my sores. They are on their way out and it might be final this time. I'm hopeful, so, who knows.

Feeling depressed, but I won't let that stop me. But it has helped me make a decision. I'm through writing unsolicited fanfic. My sanctuary exchange fic has only proven what I long held to be true. The person I wrote for couldn't even summon up the fucking will to lie convincingly. Just 1 response to all my hard work on the SGA/DA ficlets only reenforced this decision.

From now on, if you want me to write something, you have to prompt me, my dears. I'm only going to write fanfic for my friends and people who pay for it if I ever do another charity fic offering. I'm tired of busting my hump and then being ignored for it because it's not exactly what people want to read.

God, I thought the days when Het ruled fandom because 'it's canon' was over 10 friggen years ago.
( seriously depressing rant about the state of the world )

Well, now that that bit of histrionics is over, I can actually get to the point of this post. I need some inspiration to keep going with the M7/taken epic. When Sfulton died, my will to write it really took a hit. The fic was originally for her, I had hoped so much to have it written for her before something happened. I had a gut feeling something was going on, but... It doesn't matter now. Things are done and I can't really get in the mood to write it any more. I've tried.

Is there an interest in a Magnificent Seven/Taken fic out there? I'm at 60,000 words on a planned 100,000 word epic. Maybe it's just a case of the lazies, but I'm daunted to the point of inaction here. I want to get this done if even just one more person wants to read it badly. I just, need to know someone wants to. I can't do it for myself any more. I know how it ends, so there's no more mystery to me, which means no more draw.

Let me know.

The spots have turned into massive hives on my forearms from the elbows to the hands, on my lower belly to the tops of my legs. I feel sick and I am thinking it's my clothes detergent. I am washing them in allergen free with a little bleach to make sure.

Off to bed. More tomorrow.

My rash is almost gone and I am working on my monthly fics. Just call me the life of the party.

At least there was a new Happy Endings tonight.

I need to get drunk.

I have a name!

Greetings, fellow meocrats. I have finally gotten a full pen name for my original works. Don't expect me to reveal it, as that is the point of having a pen name, to keep yourself secret. On top of that, I have started a new story. Yea me! Cheer up, I am not leaving you, I have lots of fanfic to write still. In fact, I've been neglecting my original works in favor or working on fanfic. Very bad of me since I actually want to make money on this crap.

Life is okay here. Not much to report. Got almost all the christmas shit out of the way. Now, we just need to celebrate the holiday. Then I can get back to planning next spring. Without a pesky fucking relative who needs my dad to swoop down and rescue them from their shit problems, we might actually get something done in the yard... and have some god damned money to do things.

If I can get my writing done as I want it, I hope to have a royalty from amazon by May. Pfft, yeah, that's a pipe dream.

A bitch can dream, though.

Did you miss me terribly? The time felt like forever. However long it was, I'm sure you love hearing from me.

Well, I am back again in short order this time. I plan on making it regular again.

Still sick, but feeling much better. This time, the illness is actually a cold on top of everything else. For those keeping score at home, this is the sixth cold/flu since July. Add to that the stomach ailments, the inner ear infections, the staph infection, the dry skin rashes, the mysterious spots, and general depression, it's been a lovely 5 months. Yes, if there was such a thing as fate, I'd have a contract out on the bitch by now.

Too elaborate on why I've been silent for a few weeks, my grand uncle died. He was the eldest in the family. We weren't as close as I'd have liked, but I still loved the man. 3 people I loved dearly in 5 months. Yes, it's been a grand old time.

On to some not-so-depressing news. I haven't gotten anything written fanfic wise since I finished the part 1.5 mini-chapter of my Mag 7/Taken epic 2 weeks ago. I started the Psych fic for my mini-big bang and then my uncle died and it no longer felt important.

Want to hear some great news, though? I finished the first short story in my original fiction anthology I plan on publishing. 4 pages long, it took... never mind how long it took. IT'S DONE! That's the important part. Now, I can start on the next one.

Right after I finish the Sanctuary Holiday Exchange Fic I signedup for.

Someone, please shoot me. Make it non-fatal, I have a deadline, after all.

What's going on in your neck of the woods?

We got a new guy to come out with his brother and fix our ceilings. Took them four hours from start to finish. They arrived when they said they would, did what they said they would, were polite and professional the whole way through. It's a bloody friggen christmas miracle.

Well, the house stinks of the sealant now, but it's fixed and you can barely tell.

My spots are back. Red blotches that have no sensation or texture, just red blotches on my stomach, arms, and legs. Lovely. They are fading less than an hour after the showed up. I have no clue. No insurance. Don't care any more.

So tired. I am off to bed now.

For the next day, or two, depends, I will not be online. Our mold and ceiling stain problem are finally being taken care of 7 months after it happened. Needless to say, I will not be occupy the house at that time, hopefully it will be just the one day. The mold and removal should just be 1 day, the actual replacing, who knows. I will be here live for that.

But, to reiterate, I am going off line for a short time. Don't panic.

T-31: I will start the next round Tuesday or Wednesday, depends on how I am feeling.

My like to you all. Sorry, but in this economy, self love is the only kind of love I can afford.

Things that make me happy:

My dog when she growls to be let out because you aren't paying attention to her.
Daniel Tosh being the prick he is.
Nedna - AKA Ned Flanders & Edna Krabapple being allowed to stay together.
A cool breeze on a warm fall day picking up leaves.
Writing a well written story.
Sleeping/Waking up in sunlight.
The comfortable stretch over a freshly vacuumed carpet.
The Cubs constantly losing, despite fan support.
Reruns of Married...With Children.
That Kelly Clarkson is chubby but still smiles like she just won American Idol.
My stuffed tiger that was a dollar at the Dollar General store.
That, despite being a pompous, right-wing ass, Kelsey Grammar still has enough tact to avoid the tea party and support gay marriage.
Hearing a group of aboriginal/polynesian/pacific islanders sing as a whole, even out of sync.

What makes you happy?

I have been seriously jittery with excitement about the new season. Had to wait 2 days to watch because I wanted to be alone without any distractions.

It sucked. Badly.

( Cut for Spoilers )

Why? TWD crew and cast, why?

*sighs*

Well, since I'm not some drug addicted slut with six kids, a complete retard, or missing several key body parts, I don't qualify for government healthcare. Apparently, one has to have a stunningly poor sense of right and wrong to get it. Or all that and a politician. I've got a condition that keeps flaring up, but, apparently, the threat of a potentially horrifying death isn't enough.

Funny.

Tell me again, oh flag waving douchebag, why this is the greatest country in the world again?

Freedom of speech? Oh, that's nice. I'll just have my last free words carved on my tombstone be 'at least I didn't die coz no gotdamn govment deathpanel!'

In case my bitchiness doesn't translate, I was denied medical coverage by the state. My being over the age of majority, not disabled, or a mother of a large family living in the projects fighting a drug addiction under a bluemoon in the leapyear of St. Vegious while wearing a tutu, means I don't meet their strict requirements. Funny, if I was a drug addicted slut who couldn't afford to pay my bills because I spent it on Pot and maybe a little meth, I would qualify.

How do I know?

That's my fucking whore of a sister, and she qualified. Thank you, Indiana and U.S. Governments, you serve as a shining example of why I hope daily for a massive fucking rock to wipe out our entire species.

Well, it looks like I might have it beat. The scabs are all itching like crazy when I let them dry out. The only pus I've seen is from where dead skin was allowed to remain over healing skin and I quickly took care of that. Side note, it hurts when you pull dead skin off instead of cut it.

Thankfully, their MRSA possibility might have been wrong. I am clearing up nicely and no thanks to any of the medicines they gave me. Neosporin contains bacitracin, which is what they gave me in a more pure form. Everytime I put either on, my skin would break out in red splotches, not hives, but spots like freckles. It got so bad they covered 80% of my body at one time.

But, I am feeling better now. And may be up to snuff again soon. Who knows.

Just thought I would let ya'll know.

Take care.

So, I had to quit taking both meds the doc gave me. The prednisone totally killed my stomach and self control (blood sugar probably), which had me spazzing out all over the place and emotionally exploding. I had to stop the ointment because my sores were burning and my body started going numb. I called the doc just to be certain, so don't think I did it on a lark.

It's official, I'm not human.

So, I'm on famotidine for the screwed up stomach and waiting for my sores to either heal or get worse. In the meantime, I have to find a doc to do a follow up who won't charge an arm and a leg just to get my foot in the door.

Good luck, eh?

I hate america so much right now. We should have had affordable healthcare, if not universal, by now.

So, the wounds on my legs I thought were poison ivy weren't. Long story short, I've probably got MRSA and I've got to take a regiment of medicine for it. That's not the end of it and I haven't even seen the bill yet.

To the people responsible for this: you are shit and I hope you die a slow, lingering death.

Add to this I am fighting a stomach bug.

Hopefully I will die in my sleep and I won't have to taste that nasty prednisone ever again.

Am I the only one who watched the emmy's last night... Yes? Hold on! That wasn't my point. I was going to ask if anyone else watched it and wondered what the hell the voters were watching? Because the shit that won, didn't deserve it. Well, except Kyle Chandler. As much as I despised that show, he was one hell of an actor in it. Hell, over half the nominees didn't even qualify for the categories they won in. I dare anyone to tell me Parks and Recreation, The Office, Mike and Molly, and 30 Rock are funny and prove they're not on drugs.

Biggest fucking travesty: The Daily Show won twice. It's not funny. It's not a great show. It's just Jon Stewart playing 'old jewish man making weird faces and silly voices while he bitches about the state of the world'. He's lost his edge, and the only jokes that get a reaction are the ones done for shock value. Some how, he became Jay Leno with a stupid laugh. Wait, rewind. He's become Jay Leno.

That was terrible, and yet, that gag is funnier than the shit Jon's done lately.

As for Jane Lynch's performance...See above about The Daily Show. I'd rather have seen Sue.

How does life find you this day? Bored yet?

Well, things aren't getting interesting around here. I've finally gotten back to writing last night and it's been very slow going. It is understandable how so, considering I've been suffering from boredassitus and scratch 'n' sniff poison ivy. Lovely, no?

I am working on the second part of the SGA fic since there was a call for me to finish it. What was planned and written came across as bereft and lacking on the explanation (of the plot without going into exposition, IE, giving just enough clues so you can figure it out without having it spoon fed to you). I forget what that's called. And, no, it's not called 'the plot', smartass. You know who you are.

As for my other obligations, the epic and the terminator salvation fic? Well, I've enslaved the good Huntersglenn into plotting it out for me helping me give the epic an authentic feel. There were a lotta dated references I wanted to make but couldn't work them into it without her help. And the Terminator fic, the follow up that is, I am working on an idea.

What Terminator Salvation fic, you ask? Why, the one I already wrote with plans for 2 sequels for my lovely auction winner. I promised her two more fics in the series. That one, silly.

What fic, you ask again? Oh...I haven't posted it. Yet. Uh, it's not like I've been sitting on a few fics no one's seen the backside of, yet. No, that would be silly. Why would I be writing fics and then not posting them? After all, that's the whole point of writing them is the posting for feedback. Right?

Riiiiigghhhhtttt!

I awoke today to the allergic reaction I've been fighting for over a week slowly dying down after a major flare up yesterday. Might be peanuts, might be nuts, might be something entirely different, who knows. That's not the point. I needed something to take my mind off the burning and itching of the poison ivy I'm also fighting. Two reactions at once, aren't I talented?

Boy did I get it.

365gay.com is shutting down operations. Everything but the vapid advice columns will cease operations soon. It's yet another gay news blog shuttered. Only, in it's place are a group of people who wouldn't know their asses from a glazed donut giving advice to clueless people. Like that one? I got it from Drawn Together, which, funnily, has better advice for the LGBT community than those so-called experts.

Jesus christ. It's been happening more and more lately. There is no one reporting strictly the news anymore. They don't garner enough ratings for their corporate masters to justify it and sublimate it with shitty gossip or useless information. Even Keith Olbermann, who's always had a problem with letting shit go, has been basically a gossip queen 80% of the time lately. Repeating what idiots have to say and then mocking them for it is not news, keithypoo. Just ask the eighth grader trading cigarettes for the latest dirt on Jenni with an I.

And, enough with 9/11 already. Don't you fucking think we've suffered enough, you bastards? I hate turning on the television in live-mode anymore. I get fucking flashbacks just from the commercials and I wasn't even there. All these shows are like rapists getting five minutes with every one of their victims so they can relive the assault with them in every gory detail. I can practically hear the producers masturbating to the stock footage of the towers falling. "How did the tragedy effect your...oh god, yeah, bitch...life?"

Get that image out of your head. At least you won't be reliving that other horrifically tragic event in the mean time.

Why is it that people who we know are complete assholes are given power? I mean, really. The kinda decisions they make result in a 'bitch, PLEASE' from me.

( Cut for TMI about asshole family members )

So, what is new with you, my dears? Anything good come your way?

I've been writing on an SGA fic, but may not finish it. I posted the first part and no one responded. What's the point if no one friggen cares?

Bitchy? Maybe.

Generic 'I'm alive' post.

Not much has changed. My nieces will be here by Tuesday and then shit can get back to where it belongs.

We went and got my nephew a netbook lastnight so he can have access to the net. He's already been kicked out of school and going to take home schooling. Oh, gee, who didn't see that one coming?

Going to sleep now, will work on my writing tonight when I get up. Hope to have something finished by the deadline tomorrow.

Lots of shaking fists at those damn kids to get off my lawn and kisses,
Me.

Is there a plot to a point to a pinnacle?

I can't quite figure out what I want to write. There are so many plots swirling around in my head by my previous obligations are making it hard to concentrate on any of them. I want to finish my epic, but without Sfulton ever being able to see it, I find myself feeling bereft everytime I sit down and look at it. I miss her so much and I don't think it will ever stop hurting.

Writing is all I have left as the season winds down. My potatoes were harvested and there was literally only a handful. I wanted to leave them so they could grow plants next year. I have a feeling I might still have some in the garden, so I'll look forward to it. Hopefully.

I have been planning out a new original novel/novella. I hope to have enough information on it to begin writing soon. It would be nice to have something published for a change, even if it's just in eformat.

Maybe I'll even sign up for T-31 this round. There's already 3 people having chosen 2 prompts each. We might get 3 stories this round, I'm excited.

Well, despite their best efforts, my thighs are still two separate entities. I am working on getting them further apart, but it takes time and a lot of effort. Either that or someone that looks like Zachary Quinto.

Been writing a little. Have finished one entire scene. Yeah, I'm pathetic. But I'm writing again, at least.

In other news, I am looking for a cheap tablet for mum. She's monopolizing mine, again.

Some other unremarkable remarkable stuff happened, but I can't recall it at the moment, so I'll just leave you with this word of wisdom from your government:

Ooo, great sky spirit and earth mother angry. Oogey boogie, woo woo wee! We must appease them with raising taxes on those below the poverty line!

Are people just fucking stupid, or do they not really care how their posts harm everyone else? I say this because I am sick of all the *spezule* changes they make. From making the color of the texts so bright they blind, to the people who think two spaces between each paragraph just isn't enough by far, it's gotten to the point I am defriending entire communities that don't have limits on this. And since when is it impossible to put your shit behind a Lj-cut? I mean, it's the most well known code, but apparently some people are still scratching their asses wondering how. Their asses, because they can't quite reach their heads in that sphincter lock. And, it's not the newbies, no, these people who've been on LJ for years are still clueless.

Do the world a favor and cancel your internet connection.

Also, if I see one more Majick, I am going to hurt something. The word is magic. I don't care if you snort ground up mummy powder and shove berries up your ass, this does not change the spelling of the word. You aren't special. This isn't cute. Okay, grrrls and bois? *gags*

I miss you something terrible, my angel. Goodbye, Sfulton, you were one of the most beautiful lights in my life and it hurts to know you're gone.

You'll always be in my heart.

As you may know by now, four people were crushed last night in severely violent storm front, before the major part of the storm hit. The state police and venue staff share the blame in this, as they didn't see fit to evacuate the people before it happened. They knew it was coming, but were erring on the side of 'not giving a fuck' and let the people stay. It's going to be a good ole time in the state house and courts for the next two years because of this. I can already see the lawyers and tabloid sensationalist reporters vultures circling.

But, I believe Sugarland and Sarah Bareillis said it best when they began their twitter posts with this respectively: "We are all right." "Fortunately we are all safe."

Yes, because your safety is what everyone cares about first and foremost.

After a whirlwind few days, the shit is finally settling after the fan's done with it. My brother is taking his boy with him, but not after some serious guilt from her parents. They even tried to pull that bullshit on my mom and she nearly came unglued on the fuckers. Suggesting she get some therapy because she's so selfish she wants my nephew to go home with his father? Oh, that fucker better pray I don't see him any where near large tools.

Wanna know the real fucking kicker? I knew my sister in law was under stress from her parents, but they are the reason most of this shit happened to her and why she was so shitty to my brother during the divorce. They drove her to quit her medicine and become a 'normal person' and get a job she didn't have to get. They did this!

I hate those assholes and I want them dead.

It will be over Friday and my parents are leaving Saturday to spend a day with my aunt, then heading to florida sunday.

I'll have a week to myself. Finally.

My brother arrived this evening. He's here for the next four days and I want to gouge my eyes out already.

The first meeting we've had in a year and of course, it goes exactly as expected. It starts off quiet and standoffish. I kinda started to think it might go smoothly.

Nope.

Apparently my nephew's been talking with kids his age and learning that guys kiss and fuck by making thrusting motions. I learned how gays fucked before I knew how dogs fucked thanks to foul mouthed cousins. We all did. Naturally, it's an assumption one would come to. When it comes to dirty shit like that, you automatically assume, rightly, that they've been around stupid kids you shouldn't let them be around. I mean, that's what my mum always assumed. But, instead of assuming he's been talking with some idiot kid, they did what any fucking idiot with the ability to associate words would do.

That's right, they jumped to the conclusion that the faggy dyke bitch who has barely admitted to them that she likes a little crunch and munch because she knows what fucking homophobes they are, is some how corrupting the kid with explicit tales of how two queers play hide the cannoli. Besides the fact that thrusting your hips is about as dirty as watching Elvis Presley, it's factually fucking wrong, pun intended! No guy's dick's big enough to thrust like that. Believe me, I've seen the porn. It slips out when they pull back like that.

And I get called 'uppity' for getting righteously indignant about this assumption. If he wasn't mourning his fucking dead ex-wife (who told him about this bullshit), I would have gone off on both of them. I'm so sick of this. THIS! THIS is why I hate both of their asses and one of the reasons I am not sorry she fucking offed herself.

Fucking damn it to hell, if I wasn't so pissed at this, and completely opposed to kids under age learning about sex, I would be educating the little bastards correctly about it just to spite them now. Fractured Fucking Fairy Tales indeed!

After an uncomfortable yesterday, things are leveling out around here. My brother arrives Saturday, the viewing is Sunday, burial Monday. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, another dead bitch.

Get this, apparently she stopped taking her meds, again. It's the likely cause.

Good riddance.

I've had it with people not taking their meds and blaming everyone else for their problems. The same with druggies taking drugs and then blaming us for their shit. Two sides of the same fucking coin.

And some people wonder why I am such a bitch at these times. Fuck off, assholes. Charity starts at home and I've lost everyone but this last one I got thanks to you.

The fucking selfish cunt of an ex-sister in law of mine killed herself. She was supposed to bring my nephew down today so he could go visit his father in florida for a week. Well, she decided to have one last 'fuck you' and instead, blew her fucking brains out. Shit's in the air now and I don't know what's going to happen.

Well, I'm hoping they continue down there. My nephew needs to be with his daddy.

I'm so fucking tired of dealing with their drama.

I'm feeling bittersweet at the tonight. The world is slowly cooling down around here. It was almost chilly this evening after the sun had set. It reminded me of the time we had parked in downtown for the fireworks display. We had a prime spot on the hill above the town to watch. It had been so beautiful.

Tomorrow we get the kids and everyone leaves Thursday. It will be the last time I see the girls for six months. Mum and Dad are trying to convince my idiot sister to enroll them in school down there. She thinks she knows better than they do and can homeschool them just fine. She's a fucking moron and her life's a wreck. It's not going to work. I wish she would just grow a brain already.

Writing isn't coming to me lately. I have no idea why. There isn't much to distract me here. It should come naturally. It used to. Upon a time, I would have been pumping out fics like crazy. 10k worth of fic in a week or less. In the summer of '02, I wrote damn near 300k in fics alone. My output hasn't been that great since '06, but I've been more prolific. This year, I dunno, it's just been something. Not many, if any, reviews combined with burnout on family. The god damned drought destroying all my hard work in the yard has really compounded the depression.

I just need to write something. Maybe then I'll feel better.

Who knows.

The water pressure has been off for weeks. It's been something we've worried about, but barely discussed. We believe the drought has finally caught up to us. This sucks ass.

Will try to get some writing done today.

I went out last night to the casino, came home sixty bucks richer. Since the rents are leaving in four days for florida with the nieces and nephew, I needed supplies. I spent all of it plus fifty cents. Over ten of it went to mum and the bratty kids.

So, I am broke.

Writing is out for the moment. I can't focus at the moment long enough to try. Will get on later.

More later.

In a fit of nostalgia, I can't wait for the return of Beavis and Butthead. Mike Judge is saying they'll be just like before and the previews show it. I love it. This is almost as good as getting the new episodes of Futurama. Though, with last week's episode, it might be better.

I didn't manage to get anything written today. I've been too busy fighting off boredom and sleep.

Sfulton: Where you is? Been too long, girl.

It's finally rained. We had a half hour of rain. Heavy. It's so wonderful.

6 weeks I've been without a good storm.

Is it the end of the world as you know it? Then try our patented brand of memory altering devices. With our product, you won't recall any of those instances of pesky rule breaking you oversaw. Don't believe us? Just listen to the testimonial of any of our satisfied customers on every major news network around the world. Well, except those he owns.

The more I hear about this, the more I'm wondering when the theme to James Bond will start playing in the background. On the other hand, I'm about to run out of popcorn from all latenight television viewing because of it. Frankly, it's better than anything Hollywood's shit out in the past 20 years.

Between this, Michelle Bachman, Recall Elections, and the President/Republican Debting With The Stars style reality competition, it's almost like being in a really good sci-fi thriller.

Now, if we can only some how work in a Michael Biehn/Arnold/Stallone/Willis action star who saves the day, I'll be one blissed out political media junky. Better yet, make it a Sigourney or Linda Hamilton type and I'll buy the blu-ray version.

RL has never really been this interesting before. I actually think the networks might be reconsidering all those reality programs for Law & Order clones if this is the kinda shit they can write an episode about.

I'm not making shit up. Thanks, Obama.

Dear Stupid People,

Quit making me defend Obama with your ignorant and completely false statements. I do not like the man. His lies and immediate capitulation makes the jellyfish appear downright skeletal by comparison. The so-called defense of indefensible laws under his guidance makes me ill. Yet, I find myself defending him so much, I've been called an Obama supporter. This is only a problem because a bunch of asshole bigots keep making up shit gullible people are willing to believe.

Mum. Niece. Sister. Please shut the fuck up. You're the reason even staunch liberals like myself think twice about giving everyone equal rights. Don't make me jangle something shiny to test your IQ's.

Also, while you're at it, quit quoting the bible to my niece like it's the be-all, end-all of factual proof. If I get one more stupid remark like "we're all made of dirt, the bible says so" from her, I'm going to beat you over the head with that fucking book.

Signed,
Pissed Off Liberal Monkey.

P.S. Obama can suck it. Just sayin, just in case. Fuck, why do I have to repeat myself so much?

Hello, my darlings, did you miss me?

Don't everyone rush in at once.

I have been severely busy for the past 5 days. Between yardsaling, shopping, taking care of the nieces and nephew, cooking/cleaning (general domestic stuff), and installing the new water heater, I've had barely a moment to myself. I swear, one of these days I am going to say fuck it all and runaway.

Runaway, anyone know if that only implies the one who's gone, or the act itself? I might be using it wrong in my writing.

Anywho, until that time, I am stuck taking care of a household. I tell you, it's a relief to have the friggen water heater out and the new one in there. It's not completely hooked up yet, so I don't know how well it works. It has a control device on it to limit power consumption thanks to the power company, so, I'm a little leery. I do know that the first time it cuts out on me in the middle of a shower, I'm going to need a new water heater and a new door that I just threw the mother fucker through. It leaked all over the floor for months and now I'm finally done with the bitch!

Life sucks, sometimes. We have the kids for the next week and that means I've got to keep this place clean while dealing with them. *Whimpers* It already looks like a barn without the dead grass they've tracked in.

If I don't get some friggen rain soon, I am going to start planting cacti in the yard. Those cold hardy ones from the Andes so I won't have to do it again next year.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you the best part of all this so far. I set the water heater down on my foot. Then I set it down on my big toe. I'm pigeon toed and flat-footed, so I walk on the inside of my foot and the outer corner. The knuckle of the big toe, the underside of the pinky toe, and the inner side of the heel. I spend a lot of time walking on the balls of my feet like I was wearing heels because it's just easier for me. What this means: I now have a limp because every time I put pressure on my big toe I want to strangle little animals.

We might have water soon as dad gets back with the pipe parts. If so, I will wash the lame away and get back to cleaning.

Don't expect much in the way of writing, my dears, I've got a lot to do tonight. Might get something done tomorrow, though.

Toodles.

Our water heater sprung a leak. Can't find it to fix it, so we had to get a new one. Unfortunately, this also coincided with the fact that we were having a yard sale to get gas money for my parent's trip next month. We made enough for the water heater and a bucket of chicken.

I'm going to eat then sleep. Hauling shit around that ways more than the average person leaves one exhausted. Yes, I moved the new one by myself. I am tired.

I have been given the sacred task of informing you that there is nothing you can do.

Now that the silliness is over, it is time for another of my fun updates. Family is going out of early next month and I am going to be here alone. They are taking the last of our family down south and then it will just be me for a week. I want to move to Chicago.

Life is a bowel full of chewed cherries. It's fun like that.

Is it wrong that I find my fanfic more exciting than writing original fic? It's just not quite the same. Oh well, I keep doing both and I satisfy my cravings to write.

Your lives are all the same. That is all.

Today we got a vhs/tape converter for our computer. We have some tapes we want to change over to DVD and it's going to take a while. 2 hours per tape. Oh joy.

So, now I understand why all of my friends who've enjoyed this technology for years have complained about hours of ripping and converting. You are seriously negligent in your whining, my dears. This is almost intolerable. 2 hours for a single tape! Oh my god, it's like being back to dial up.

Just kill me now!

My brother recently got a judgment in his divorce. 1300 a month to that drug addicted, alcoholic slut of an ex of his. That's what he gets for doing mediation instead of civil trial. They had agreed originally to joint custody, he get the boy during the school year, 800 a month half the furniture. She upped it to 900, all the furniture, reversed custody, he agreed to get it over. Then she started the shit to get him trouble with his job, pushing every occasion to get him to hit her so she could get more leverage. Then this. Apparently, she pushed for more with her fucking family's backing.

He's going for full custody and nothing for the cunt in payments. I'm not saying he's anything worthy of calling a brother. I'd sooner run the fucker down than pass him in the parking lot. But her...I'd do such things to her if given half a chance and could get away with it. I'm so sick of divorcing assholes doing whatever they can to fuck each other over just to get a bigger piece of the fucking settlement. GROW THE FUCK UP!

Why can't people be adults about things? It's a divorce, not politics. Feels the same, lately, though.

Writing is going well. I'm up to over 4000 words on the Terminator fic for heeroluva. This is the last of my charity fics and I do not feel like ever doing it again. That doesn't mean I won't, but, shit, over 5 months and it's still kicking my ass. I tell ya, I have no idea why I did so many.

I do know that it will be my last big fic until that Taken/Magnificent Seven epic is finished. Fun fact, did you know I am already over 53,000 words on it and I am only halfway finished. Yeah, fuck me! It's a bitch, but I want it to be good. huntersglenn is so wonderful, I can't imagine what I would have done without her assistance. Sfulton, I hope to have it ready for you soon, but it will be at least another month, very least. Writing is very slow. I'm actually looking at it as a summer project.

*dies slowly*

If you want RL info, everything is finally settling down. My siblings are out of the picture, my father is home and resting, we are getting rid of the cats I never wanted, but I have been helping train to be more friendly to the point they won't leave me alone, and my garden is coming up flowers.

Life is finally healing.

Two weeks in to the summer big bang season and so far, nothing. I've found not one single fic I really want to read. In fact, it's been less than thirty percent slash! The one I am reading is because I'm freaking bored and it might be interesting in a sexually kinky way down the line. I deleted from my flist space big bang because that story summaries is a steaming load. Where has all the slash gone? Better yet, where has all the good slash gone? I'm sick of domestic fics or fics where one of the guys is a lawyer/cop/some idiot who is in a position to take care of the other guy when he's down on his luck/injured/just too stupid to do it for himself. Is there no plot? Where's it the intrigue?

Where are all the people who used to think relationships were secondary to a fascinating plot? Can't say they went into original works, because that's a load. Amazon's full of the same crap, a lot of it converted from fanfic.

*Slaps forehead* Why, for the love of Martha Stewart? Is there nothing worth reading?

This is your chance to tell me to shut the hell up by reccing me something long and plotty. Or just a chance to say "shut the hell up". Because, bitching only serves one purpose, to bitch.

Yo, yo, yo. We here for the next update in the 'my life' saga. What's goin on in your neck of the woods, dawgs?

Me? Be chillin.

Well, let me start by saying my dad is back. He's been here exactly 2 days now. Mum is happier, dad is feeling a lot better. The situation down south? Who the fuck knows. Those three idiots can take care of their own shit now.

I swear, I am going to write soon. I mean, new work, not just going over and rewriting what I've already done. That terminator fic for QLD auction winner has been filled out so much it's looking like one of those meatheads from those porn vids I swear I no longer watch. God, how many times can you see some shaved moron grunt incorrectly to the placement of a penis? So, taking a break from that. Bad porn, not from writing. I got a little writing in mind for today if I can find time between cleaning and cooking. Got company coming over tomorrow and the place needs a touch up.

*Groans* We are having the nieces and grandmum over tomorrow. I need to seriously consider jumping the broom and flitting off to locales unknown.

Thanks to a celebratory trip to the casino last night, I am sitting on 56 more dollars than I had yesterday. It's all kinda nice. We spent 5 hours in there last night on 100 dollars. Talk about fuckin luck, man. Everytime we got down to our last twenty we'd move onto a new machine (we played slots) and would hit something. Bonus rounds are your friends, but hitting five of a kind is the best. Mum hit 83 on 2 of them. I had a grand total of almost 100 by the time I hit my last 5 of a kind. Of course, this is cumulative over the night, not at once, so, we spent a lot of it getting there.

Came up with a great idea for a short story, well, great to me, since I plan on writing it. I want to include it with a few others in a collection for an amazon.com ebook. If you plan on reading them, though, I gotta tell you now, I won't be publicly posting my penname or promoting my books here. There's just too much personal information here to mix up with my hopefully soon-to-be professional writing. Don't worry, though, I have too much time and years of my life invested to give up this and my fanfic. I couldn't if I wanted to, I'm addicted to fanfic and refuse to give it up. Dozens of other professional writers still do both, so, I should be able to as well.

Who knows, I may even never publish my works. In the 15 years I've been writing, nothing ever came close enough to publish worthy. Eh?

Spent the past day on the run and then lost in the dark.

Got woken up early so I could go work. Saw the sunlight, hissed and turned to dust...or I could have gotten up and taken my shower. That part's a bit vague. Went and trimmed gram's shrubs and set up her AT&T U so she could turn on TV and watch it at the same time. Innovative idea, no? Got a little money for my troubles so we could go out to eat. Came home, took another shower, went out to the casino for buffet. Lost some money, had dinner, lost the rest, left.

On the way over, I saw the sky get dark in the distance and thought, this is not good. There wasn't anything on the radar this morning and the daily thing on the TWC app said tomorrow. On the way home, we have dust blowing out of fields and the coal plant in Indy and shit's looking like a scene out of a horror movie, or possibly Twister. I check the app again and hit play on the map, shit sprang up out of no where in less than an hour. We have no big lakes nearby, so, this is a freak occurrence.

We're rushing to get home, hoping to get home before the storm and I see a limb in the power line that connects the top and bottom lines to a large pine tree and figure 'someone's fucked'. No sooner I start to say something about it, mum's gasping and twisting the car. Line's down and we're hitting the fucker. She's about to panic until I tell her keep driving and to give me the phone. I call my dad and have him call the power company to report it because I haven't gotten the number from him for her phone yet.

Yeah, I'm an idiot.

She's also one. Thinks we're going to get electrocuted if we keep going, I tell her floor the fucking thing and we get out form under it. We go, no problem. I've seen enough emergency shows to know it's when you get out of the car that you get fried. So, we go, stop a ways down and I tell dad. He agrees rather quickly and I say my goodbyes. We're a little shaken and wondering if the limb did it or what, because we couldn't see where it had come from.

Then we get home. I have to get out because the wind's blown the ice scraper to the ground in the carport. That's when I notice the coiled wire on the wall and the wire sticking out of the slats of the barn. With all the arrests and shit about people stealing wire from power substations, I jump to the conclusion we interrupted something. I look over at the house and there's no lights on. Power's out.

Pissed, I go inside ready to fucking kill someone. We realize that's just the power out, and nothing else. I put the towels away and find the one over the bathroom vent still freezing cold from out air conditioner. This means we got home just in time to see our power line go down and run into the fucking thing. That's when the storm hits and it's like we're being shelled. I can't tell you how many explosions had my mum jumping and she's normally stable as a rock.

Long ending short, after 3 hours without power filled with hot ass stagnant air and terrible storm we got power back.

I'm going over my daily sites, then going the fuck to bed.

Got everything planted. Had a quiet week. No rain. Tra lalala life goes on.

Only thing of interest is that I've yet to write something. That will change, as I no longer have a thousand and one things to do, just a thousand.

Anyone interested in a rat bastard and his family? I got one for free. Sick of their drama and I am offering them up as anything you want them to be. Might I suggest chum? They're not good for much else.

Feeling nostalgic today. It's cool and damp outside, not much to do but reflect.

Title: Cheese Cake.
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Girls.
Characters: Rose, Kirsten, Michael, Rebecca.
Words: 1055
Fandom: Golden Girls
Pairing: N/A
Rating: Teen
Warnings: Language
Summary: Thirty years and the same kitchen later, Rose finds herself in a familiar situation.
Author's Note: The next generation.
______________________________________
( Read more... )

Title: Fucking.
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.
Characters: Spencer, Hotch
Words: 919
Prompt: Hotch/Reid for cee_m.
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Hotch/Reid
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Language, Sexual Activity, Sexual Dominance.
Summary: Spencer's about to find out how rough it can be.
Author's Note: Nothing but Net Smut.
______________________________________
( Read more... )

Title: You Oughta Know
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.
Characters: Spencer, Gideon
Words: 365
Prompt: For cee_m.
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: N/A
Rating: Teen
Warnings: Language
Summary: Sometimes avoiding a topic is easier done than said.
Author's Note: Something that came to me.
______________________________________
( Read more... )

Title: He Sleeps Alone
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.
Characters: Spencer
Words: 299
Prompt: For cee_m.
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Hotch/Reid
Rating: Teen
Warnings: Language, Angst.
Summary: PBS isn't the company he was looking for.
Author's Note: A little sad.
______________________________________
( Read more... )

Title: Horse Kingdoms
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.
Characters: Spencer, Morgan
Words: 469
Prompt: For cee_m.
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Spencer/Morgan
Rating: Teen
Warnings: Language, Character Death, Graphic.
Summary: Someone's not coming back from this shootout.
Author's Note: Tissue warning.
______________________________________
( Read more... )

Title: Sparkle
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.
Characters: Spencer, Hotch, Morgan, JJ.
Words: 769
Prompt: For cee_m.
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: pre-Spencer/Hotch, Surprise.
Rating: Teen
Warnings: Language, Angst.
Summary: Spencer learns that all is not static, and change comes even before we are ready.
Author's Note: Not sure how to put this one. Be warned.
______________________________________
( Read more... )

I just finished vacuuming and shampooing my main carpets, including the area rug in the dining room and my laminant(sp?) floors. Yes, I even vacuumed them and washed parts with the rug cleaner. Why? Because my mop's a piece of shit, that's why! Of course, I had to clean out the friggen rug cleaner before hand because my bitch of a sister never did it after she cleaned up her old place a month ago. It was FILTHY! *Growls*

This was after I wrote 900 words in the Criminal Minds fic for Cee_M, took out the trash, cleaned the kitty litter, did my thrice weekly exercises, washed and dried a load of clothes, emptied the dishwasher, and mowed most of the lawn. I still have to finish the laundry, load the dishwasher, cook dinner, solve world hunger, bring peace to the middle east, and write another 2-3K words on the CM fic.

Someone shoot my ass!

On top of all this, it is storming outside, I have bad gas, and the animals are sulking because the big mean animal (me) ran the evil demon machine. Don't even get me started on how long it's going to take 2 ceiling fans, 2 box fans, and the AC to dry this place with 90% humidity outside. I'll curl up and die, that's what I'll do.

Wouldn't the heat work...Shhh! But...Shhh! No! I am already sacrificing enough. ENOUGH! I don't care. Seriously. No caring here, folks, move along.